Recipe: Double Sauce Pasta

Warning: Only the laziest of vegetarians should even consider making this.

Once you have determined that you are a lazy enough vegetarian, here are two reasons for you to attempt this recipe, specifically:

1) The thought of eating just one kind of pasta sauce AGAIN makes you want to throw all your tortellini out into the snow (yes, this makes you a certain kind of difficult person).

2) You do not have enough of one kind of pasta sauce to cover your tortellini to your taste (this means you fail at groceries).

Either way, you need:

Some alfredo sauce

Some tomato sauce

Pasta of some variety you like

Make the pasta according to the instructions on the box.  You don’t need all the water they say you do (I knew that by myself, the NYT people had to call chefs and ask if it was cool, since they are ludicrous).  Frozen pasta is pretty good nuked- uses less energy, both personally and householdwise.  Stick on the leftovers of whatever jar of tomato sauce (or alfredo sauce) after you drain the pasta.  Open the new jar of alfredo sauce (or tomato sauce) and dollop on the rest to your taste.  Mix together the pasta, tomato sauce, and alfredo sauce. Cap the rest of the second jar and stick it int he fridge for the next batch. You’re in luck if one of the jars has a garlic flavor!

Eat this mix of sauces, and you will grok the meaning of Gestalt.  I know I did.

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