Does Not Compute

I was going to post on this last night, but trying to make sense of it destroyed all my logic circuits. I had to reboot. I watched the Office finale instead, which was pretty awesome.

This morning I switched from the logic processor to the zen processor, so I’m going to try and just go with the flow about it.

Wednesday the polar bear was listed as a threatened species by the US government, entitling it to protection from that-which-threatens-it under the US Endangered Species Act. Not as much protection as an endangered species, more more protection than a hunky-dory species. Cool, good on them, because while there are lots of polar bears out there, their habitats are vanishing with alarming rapidity, and we can’t keep them all in German zoos.

So far, so good. Now, turn off your logic hats- I don’t want any heads to explode.

Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne presented the decision with these remarks:

“While the legal standards under the Endangered Species Act compel me to list the polar bear as threatened, I want to make clear that this listing will not stop global climate change or prevent any sea ice from melting,” he said at a briefing.

“Any real solution requires action by all major economies for it to be effective,” Kempthorne said. He also noted he was taking administrative and regulatory action to ensure this decision was not “abused to make global warming policies.”

So, the science is strong enough to conclude that global warming is the danger, but we shouldn’t make that an excuse to act on the science showing the danger, because it’s ok that the danger stays. Right. Ok. I’m flowing with that.

I have some theories that attempt to logically explain this, actually: First, Dirk Kempthorne is not a real person, but a character from a thrilling novel (doesn’t he have a great name for it?), perhaps written by Stephen Johnson, who is being bribed by a secret, powerful organization to destroy the word by obfuscating government responses to climate change, causing mass confusion, panic, and fatal delays. Rehearsals for the movie version were accidentally leaked as the actual policy statements.

Second, maybe they just had two different people write the yes-protected and no-not-protected speeches, and pasted them together as one speech instead of just deleting the “no” speech?

Let me know your theories about what happened.

Actually, I bet we could get this all cleared up if the Interior Department were forced to explain their decision to this guy (link found via climateprogress).

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2 Responses to “Does Not Compute”


  1. 1 Gentleman Friend May 16, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    Yeah, that caused a brainsplosion on my end when I heard it, too. Isn’t that the point of the legislation in the first place?


  1. 1 We Will Make Decisions Based On Facts « Virescent Trackback on December 16, 2008 at 11:05 am

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